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 Olbo's Epic Adventure...
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Olbo
Stygian Newborn

USA
38 Posts

Posted - 02/11/2010 :  02:01:35  Show Profile  Click to see Olbo's MSN Messenger address Send Olbo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Ok Ill do the Credits first...

A big thanks to Angrod (Archmage)

And to Lothgar and anyone else who helped make the game.

This is my first time doing this so here it goes...

Once there was a boy named Olbo...


He dreamed of becoming a knight...


Till one day his dream came true...
He was in the city of Breathnor.


And the Archmage summoned him to the archmages tower...
He told Olbo that there was a terrible monster destroying the city...
The Hellfire Dragon...And that it was up to Olbo to stop it.
Then he told Olbo about a sword that could cut threw anything...
The Recruits Sword... It was kept in the castle of the last king of
Breathnor... guarded by the kings elite knight.
Then he told Olbo that he was their only hope...


So Olbo traveled to the kings castle to get the Recruits Sword...But
the knight refused...(I added the knight with 2 swords)


So Olbo fought the Elite Knight...
Olbo came at the Knight with all he
had. luckily for Olbo the knight had
been drinking that night... The Knight
stumbled forward and fell over... The
knight said he would give the sword to
Olbo if he spared his life. So Olbo did.
Then the knight ran away...
And Olbo got the powerful Recruits
Sword.


Then he went back to the Archmage
to find out were the monster was...
The archmage told Olbo it was at the
cliff of flames, north of Breathnor...
So Olbo journeyed to the cliff of
flames to face the Hellfire Dragon...

When he got there he found the beast
laying down just after eating a meal. (I made this map and added the dragon)


Olbo approached the monster cautiosly
then when he got in range he yelled
THIS IS BREATHNOR then he charged at
the Hellfire dragon with all his mite and instantly
killed the dragon...then he took some of the dragons scales as proof he
killed it. (I added the scales)


When he got back home he was welcomed as a hero...


Olbo went back to the Archmage who had already heard that Olbo had defeated the dragon...
The archmage was waiting for him...
The archmage said for your great deeds to this country...
I the Archmage crown you...KING OF BREATHNOR!!!


So now King Olbo sits in his thrown...
waiting for his next adventure...


The End...

This took me a while to do so great if you like it but if you don't please dont leave any mean comments.. it took alot of work.

K thx bai.


*Hits you with Ban Hammer*
LEVEL UP!
Pwned you noob.

Edited by - Olbo on 02/11/2010 13:31:25

Moses
Stygian Peasant

Egypt
60 Posts

Posted - 02/11/2010 :  03:32:25  Show Profile Send Moses a Private Message  Reply with Quote
The pictures were a great idea!

You might want to add more story (more detail in between frames)
its far to short and dry but its a pretty good job for your first time.


MOSES is NOT my characters name ingame.
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Shaein
Stygian Knight

Finland
609 Posts

Posted - 02/11/2010 :  07:55:47  Show Profile  Visit Shaein's Homepage Send Shaein a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I came here to read expecting something completely different, and was in fact very pleasantly surprised! From the illustrations you can see that this was made with love :).

I have some (creative) criticism, if that's all right:

1. What I think broke the immersion a bit were the (pieces of metatext in parenthesis) that told the reader what you had done with the picture. I suggest you include them in the end of the story :).

2. I know, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to image quality, but when working with screenshots from a game such as Elderlands(pixel-drawn graphics), please use .png when saving the images. JPG often leaves visible artifacts and an unfortunately lesser quality ensues. PNG, on the other hand, doesn't lose any quality when compressed and is therefore the superior image format for smaller images and images that need to save detail.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the story thoroughly and even chuckled a bit at the drunken knight :D. Keep up the good work!

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Olbo
Stygian Newborn

USA
38 Posts

Posted - 02/11/2010 :  09:35:59  Show Profile  Click to see Olbo's MSN Messenger address Send Olbo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Thanks alot ill take all yalls idea for when I make another one sometime soon. :D

Also just wondering do the maps look any good (the ones I added stuff to and the one I made)

I made all of them with microsoft paint xd. neway thanks for the comments.

*Hits you with Ban Hammer*
LEVEL UP!
Pwned you noob.

Edited by - Olbo on 02/11/2010 09:38:50
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proskiier
Stygian Squire

USA
375 Posts

Posted - 02/11/2010 :  11:22:52  Show Profile  Visit proskiier's Homepage Send proskiier a Private Message  Reply with Quote
yeah i hate rp but this was entertaining... one suggestion i think everyone made already was to make it more of a comic rather than to tell the story with paragraphs below the pics....


funny though :)


Proskiier

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Locke
Stygian Patron

Ireland
1059 Posts

Posted - 02/11/2010 :  12:56:14  Show Profile  Click to see Locke's MSN Messenger address Send Locke a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Was quite good :)

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Albert
Stygian Squire

Canada
385 Posts

Posted - 02/11/2010 :  22:16:12  Show Profile  Visit Albert's Homepage  Click to see Albert's MSN Messenger address Send Albert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
enjoyable :)


~ There is no good or evil...only power...and those to weak to seek it ~
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Chitz
Stygian Hero

USA
2900 Posts

Posted - 02/11/2010 :  22:35:06  Show Profile  Visit Chitz's Homepage  Send Chitz an AOL message  Click to see Chitz's MSN Messenger address Send Chitz a Private Message  Reply with Quote
"So now King Olbo sits in his thrown...
waiting for his next adventure..."

"Adventure has arrived!..no wait just gas."



" See, I-m trying to save the world here people! " - Lothgar on the creation of Elderlands.
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Olbo
Stygian Newborn

USA
38 Posts

Posted - 02/11/2010 :  23:38:36  Show Profile  Click to see Olbo's MSN Messenger address Send Olbo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Chitz

"So now King Olbo sits in his thrown...
waiting for his next adventure..."

"Adventure has arrived!..no wait just gas."



Lol good one and also thanks for yalls nice comments and ideas of ways to improve...I look forward to making more...Ill prolly make another This weekend but it will be a little more thought out.

*Hits you with Ban Hammer*
LEVEL UP!
Pwned you noob.
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yaylin
Stygian Squire

USA
347 Posts

Posted - 02/13/2010 :  13:11:01  Show Profile  Visit yaylin's Homepage  Click to see yaylin's MSN Messenger address Send yaylin a Private Message  Reply with Quote
BRAVO!!
That was awesome.
Keep them coming Olbo.
Though one of those guards makes me wonder...
He just seemed a little too friendly...
But everything else was quite nice.

quote:
Originally posted by Articwolf

And lastly, if you truly are a troll, and not some confused child, keep up the good work.

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Olbo
Stygian Newborn

USA
38 Posts

Posted - 02/13/2010 :  14:12:07  Show Profile  Click to see Olbo's MSN Messenger address Send Olbo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yaylin

BRAVO!!
That was awesome.
Keep them coming Olbo.
Though one of those guards makes me wonder...
He just seemed a little too friendly...
But everything else was quite nice.



Ill tell you a secrent
<.< >.>

The guard was secretly gay... LOL jk...

*Hits you with Ban Hammer*
LEVEL UP!
Pwned you noob.
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yaylin
Stygian Squire

USA
347 Posts

Posted - 03/18/2010 :  19:56:25  Show Profile  Visit yaylin's Homepage  Click to see yaylin's MSN Messenger address Send yaylin a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Olbo make more adventures, damnit

quote:
Originally posted by Articwolf

And lastly, if you truly are a troll, and not some confused child, keep up the good work.

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Vikkorih
Stygian Squire

Finland
131 Posts

Posted - 03/19/2010 :  16:30:28  Show Profile  Visit Vikkorih's Homepage Send Vikkorih a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Olbo is one of the most succesful trolls around here, gz!
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